So, I often as a fuller figured girl, look at very thin, frail, women and want to encourage them to eat a sandwich, with whole wheat bread, and meat, and cheese, and anything else they might like on it. When I look at these small creatures, I can only imagine them picking crumbs off of a plate. It…
It’s most definitely skinny shaming because you’re basing all this on their looks when in reality, you have no idea how much or how often these girls eat.
Just because someone is thin doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder.
I can honestly say I weigh a 100lbs and can win a fucking eating contest against anyone I know.
Metabolisms are a thing and assuming someone has an eating disorder because they’re thin is just downright rude and disrespectful.
I can understand this. I guess what this post is leading to, is: Is it ever okay to come up to someone and talk to them about their health being at risk when it comes to their weight? The girl that I saw looked sick, she wasn’t just very thin, she had dark rings under her eyes, she looked exhausted, her lips were thin and pale among many other things that made her state unnatural looking. I have many very very thin friends, who eat and eat and eat and don’t gain weight, but they look healthy (I don’t say that being very overweight or very underweight is a sign of being unhealthy because I understand it is not. Some people just have bodies like that). But I have been violently lashed out at for educating people of thyroid disease (what I had and have) The first stage of my auto immune caused thyroid disease is extreme weight loss accompanied by dangerous heart rate, high body temperature, shiners, vomiting, migraines, cold intolerance, paranoia and much more. I have talked to people and mentioned hyperthyroidism and almost had my head bitten off. My main concern is their health, is that so bad? The same goes for my heavy counterparts, I’m a size 16, but if i was not on my medication I could very easily be twice my size, and accompanying that size would be many awful symptoms that I go through still. I have also suggested blood work to people who have hypothyroid symptoms and I have been lashed out at as well. But should approaching someone about their health and the possibility of them being in danger (eating disorder or not) be seen obviously as skinny or fat shaming? It seems kind of wrong to me. Though, I would never ever ever come up to a very thin girl and tell her to eat a cheese burger, that is skinny shaming to me. But I might go up to a sickly looking thin girl and see if I can help her. Honestly I’m fine with getting my head bitten off, if it might help the person “IF” they are sick. The same goes for bigger girls who have hypothyroid symptoms, I won’t sit and watch as someone deteriorates because they might think what i am saying is fat shaming. I kind of want people to open up a little and realize that people are misinformed about weight, but that weight accompanied by other symptoms can be unhealthy, and if someone comes up to you and comments on those traits and tells you that you should check on it, you shouldn’t act like a demon being doused by a water hose. But I do want to make this clear: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING UNDERWEIGHT, OR OVERWEIGHT. I’m just saying that people shouldn’t react so violently to someone’s concern about eating disorders or hormone diseases. I think it would be better to educate people instead of biting their heads off. That’s just my opinion.
If you don’t know the person, it’s still extremely rude and embarrassing to that person, and once again, judging them based on appearance and literally nothing else. I’ve had multiple people in the past ask me if I’m eating and it was extremely rude and insulting. I fit the description of the sickly looking girl you described yet the doctor says I’m in pretty perfect health. So what looks “unhealthy” to you may not be unhealthy at all. I have dark circles under my eyes which I manage to conceal with makeup, I have extremely pale skin, and though my BMI is normal for someone my size, I’m viewed as underweight and people don’t hesitate to comment on it or inquire if I’m eating and I’ve been asked about having a thyroid problem after explaining it’s extremely hard to put on weight. I shouldn’t have to explain myself or my health or my appearance to anyone.
Someone’s health, especially a stranger’s, is their own business. If I started going up to overweight people and inquiring about their health, I would get my teeth kicked in.
I first of all want to apologize for people treating you that way. I agree that judging based solely on appearances is wrong. Let me share a bit of myself with you though, when I was 11 years old i started to loose weight rapidly and started getting side effects of hyperthyroidism, including anxiety, panic attacks, and a compromised immune system. I was sick for three years, and no one told me anything, i wasn’t taken to the doctor, and everyone thought i was just delicate, and that i had insomnia. Ultimately my thinness was celebrated because i was pretty. When i was diagnosed, it was right on time. If i had been diagnosed later i may have died from a heart attack, my heart rate was so high that I wasn’t allowed to play school sports or even walk quickly. If someone would have told me or my parents sooner of my symptoms, I may have been able to play sports, and i may not be in such a bad place as far as my body is concerned now. The effects that I now have because of my disease being found late are breaking down bones and joints. At 21 my sacroiliac joint has degenerated by 20% and I will more than likely be in a wheel chair at 45 no matter how much muscle strengthening I do. Looking back, I would have loved if someone came up to me and told me that I looked sick, so at least my parents would have taken notice and found out what was wrong. Now, I understand how you feel when it comes to people asking for an explanation. People tell me that If I eat healthily then i shouldn’t be fat. But I am, and I eat healthily, and I go to the gym. But my metabolism is slow and weight loss is more difficult (because of my thyroid disease). People accuse me of being lazy and tell me to explain what I do on a normal day because they want me to “prove” that I am healthy. THAT is wrong. Asking for someone to explain, is wrong. I don’t feel that I explained myself well enough in the first post. I wouldn’t go up to that girl and say “Hey do you have an eating disorder?” That would be awful. I would probably say, “Hey are you okay?” If she shared with me, I would make suggestions, then tell her I’m there if she needs anything. If she said “Nope, I’m fine” I would just say okay and let her go on her way. I’m not going to shove anything down anyone’s throats. I’m a pretty shy person, I don’t like upsetting people. But It would feel wrong to walk past someone who might be in danger just because they might get mad at me. I don’t have intentions to hurt anyone. My only intentions are to help them. I think that this goes both ways, from plus girls to average girls to thin girls to teeny tiny girls. If a plus girl looks sick, I’m going to say, hey you okay? Just like with any other sized woman. Really, I think that i have boiled down my question to be past weight, and more into, how to talk to someone who might be sick without offending them. I’m less concerned about weight and more concerned about health. I may make no sense, but regardless, I understand what you are saying, even if it sounds like i don’t. I’m going to think more when I see someone and gauge whether what I will say will help or hinder them.