Skinny shaming

opheliasfolly:

shycross:

opheliasfolly:

shycross:

So, I often as a fuller figured girl, look at very thin, frail, women and want to encourage them to eat a sandwich, with whole wheat bread, and meat, and cheese, and anything else they might like on it. When I look at these small creatures, I can only imagine them picking crumbs off of a plate. It…

It’s most definitely skinny shaming because you’re basing all this on their looks when in reality, you have no idea how much or how often these girls eat.

Just because someone is thin doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder.

I can honestly say I weigh a 100lbs and can win a fucking eating contest against anyone I know.

Metabolisms are a thing and assuming someone has an eating disorder because they’re thin is just downright rude and disrespectful.

I can understand this. I guess what this post is leading to, is: Is it ever okay to come up to someone and talk to them about their health being at risk when it comes to their weight? The girl that I saw looked sick, she wasn’t just very thin, she had dark rings under her eyes, she looked exhausted, her lips were thin and pale among many other things that made her state unnatural looking. I have many very very thin friends, who eat and eat and eat and don’t gain weight, but they look healthy (I don’t say that being very overweight or very underweight is a sign of being unhealthy because I understand it is not. Some people just have bodies like that). But I have been violently lashed out at for educating people of thyroid disease (what I had and have) The first stage of my auto immune caused thyroid disease is extreme weight loss accompanied by dangerous heart rate, high body temperature, shiners, vomiting, migraines, cold intolerance, paranoia and much more. I have talked to people and mentioned hyperthyroidism and almost had my head bitten off. My main concern is their health, is that so bad? The same goes for my heavy counterparts, I’m a size 16, but if i was not on my medication I could very easily be twice my size, and accompanying that size would be many awful symptoms that I go through still. I have also suggested blood work to people who have hypothyroid symptoms and I have been lashed out at as well. But should approaching someone about their health and the possibility of them being in danger (eating disorder or not) be seen obviously as skinny or fat shaming? It seems kind of wrong to me. Though, I would never ever ever come up to a very thin girl and tell her to eat a cheese burger, that is skinny shaming to me. But I might go up to a sickly looking thin girl and see if I can help her. Honestly I’m fine with getting my head bitten off, if it might help the person “IF” they are sick. The same goes for bigger girls who have hypothyroid symptoms, I won’t sit and watch as someone deteriorates because they might think what i am saying is fat shaming. I kind of want people to open up a little and realize that people are misinformed about weight, but that weight accompanied by other symptoms can be unhealthy, and if someone comes up to you and comments on those traits and tells you that you should check on it, you shouldn’t act like a demon being doused by a water hose. But I do want to make this clear: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING UNDERWEIGHT, OR OVERWEIGHT.  I’m just saying that people shouldn’t react so violently to someone’s concern about eating disorders or hormone diseases. I think it would be better to educate people instead of biting their heads off. That’s just my opinion. 

If you don’t know the person, it’s still extremely rude and embarrassing to that person, and once again, judging them based on appearance and literally nothing else. I’ve had multiple people in the past ask me if I’m eating and it was extremely rude and insulting. I fit the description of the sickly looking girl you described yet the doctor says I’m in pretty perfect health. So what looks “unhealthy” to you may not be unhealthy at all. I have dark circles under my eyes which I manage to conceal with makeup, I have extremely pale skin, and though my BMI is normal for someone my size, I’m viewed as underweight and people don’t hesitate to comment on it or inquire if I’m eating and I’ve been asked about having a thyroid problem after explaining it’s extremely hard to put on weight. I shouldn’t have to explain myself or my health or my appearance to anyone. 

Someone’s health, especially a stranger’s, is their own business. If I started going up to overweight people and inquiring about their health, I would get my teeth kicked in.

I first of all want to apologize for people treating you that way. I agree that judging based solely on appearances is wrong. Let me share a bit of myself with you though, when I was 11 years old i started to loose weight rapidly and started getting side effects of hyperthyroidism, including anxiety, panic attacks, and a compromised immune system. I was sick for three years, and no one told me anything, i wasn’t taken to the doctor, and everyone thought i was just delicate, and that i had insomnia. Ultimately my thinness was celebrated because i was pretty. When i was diagnosed, it was right on time. If i had been diagnosed later i may have died from a heart attack, my heart rate was so high that I wasn’t allowed to play school sports or even walk quickly. If someone would have told me or my parents sooner of my symptoms, I may have been able to play sports, and i may not be in such a bad place as far as my body is concerned now. The effects that I now have because of my disease being found late are breaking down bones and joints. At 21 my sacroiliac joint has degenerated by 20% and I will more than likely be in a wheel chair at 45 no matter how much muscle strengthening I do. Looking back, I would have loved if someone came up to me and told me that I looked sick, so at least my parents would have taken notice and found out what was wrong. Now, I understand how you feel when it comes to people asking for an explanation. People tell me that If I eat healthily then i shouldn’t be fat. But I am, and I eat healthily, and I go to the gym. But my metabolism is slow and weight loss is more difficult (because of my thyroid disease). People accuse me of being lazy and tell me to explain what I do on a normal day because they want me to “prove” that I am healthy. THAT is wrong. Asking for someone to explain, is wrong. I don’t feel that I explained myself well enough in the first post. I wouldn’t go up to that girl and say “Hey do you have an eating disorder?” That would be awful. I would probably say, “Hey are you okay?” If she shared with me, I would make suggestions, then tell her I’m there if she needs anything. If she said “Nope, I’m fine” I would just say okay and let her go on her way. I’m not going to shove anything down anyone’s throats. I’m a pretty shy person, I don’t like upsetting people. But It would feel wrong to walk past someone who might be in danger just because they might get mad at me. I don’t have intentions to hurt anyone. My only intentions are to help them. I think that this goes both ways, from plus girls to average girls to thin girls to teeny tiny girls. If a plus girl looks sick, I’m going to say, hey you okay? Just like with any other sized woman. Really, I think that i have boiled down my question to be past weight, and more into, how to talk to someone who might be sick without offending them. I’m less concerned about weight and more concerned about health. I may make no sense, but regardless, I understand what you are saying, even if it sounds like i don’t. I’m going to think more when I see someone and gauge whether what I will say will help or hinder them. 

Skinny shaming

opheliasfolly:

shycross:

So, I often as a fuller figured girl, look at very thin, frail, women and want to encourage them to eat a sandwich, with whole wheat bread, and meat, and cheese, and anything else they might like on it. When I look at these small creatures, I can only imagine them picking crumbs off of a plate. It…

It’s most definitely skinny shaming because you’re basing all this on their looks when in reality, you have no idea how much or how often these girls eat.

Just because someone is thin doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder.

I can honestly say I weigh a 100lbs and can win a fucking eating contest against anyone I know.

Metabolisms are a thing and assuming someone has an eating disorder because they’re thin is just downright rude and disrespectful.

I can understand this. I guess what this post is leading to, is: Is it ever okay to come up to someone and talk to them about their health being at risk when it comes to their weight? The girl that I saw looked sick, she wasn’t just very thin, she had dark rings under her eyes, she looked exhausted, her lips were thin and pale among many other things that made her state unnatural looking. I have many very very thin friends, who eat and eat and eat and don’t gain weight, but they look healthy (I don’t say that being very overweight or very underweight is a sign of being unhealthy because I understand it is not. Some people just have bodies like that). But I have been violently lashed out at for educating people of thyroid disease (what I had and have) The first stage of my auto immune caused thyroid disease is extreme weight loss accompanied by dangerous heart rate, high body temperature, shiners, vomiting, migraines, cold intolerance, paranoia and much more. I have talked to people and mentioned hyperthyroidism and almost had my head bitten off. My main concern is their health, is that so bad? The same goes for my heavy counterparts, I’m a size 16, but if i was not on my medication I could very easily be twice my size, and accompanying that size would be many awful symptoms that I go through still. I have also suggested blood work to people who have hypothyroid symptoms and I have been lashed out at as well. But should approaching someone about their health and the possibility of them being in danger (eating disorder or not) be seen obviously as skinny or fat shaming? It seems kind of wrong to me. Though, I would never ever ever come up to a very thin girl and tell her to eat a cheese burger, that is skinny shaming to me. But I might go up to a sickly looking thin girl and see if I can help her. Honestly I’m fine with getting my head bitten off, if it might help the person “IF” they are sick. The same goes for bigger girls who have hypothyroid symptoms, I won’t sit and watch as someone deteriorates because they might think what i am saying is fat shaming. I kind of want people to open up a little and realize that people are misinformed about weight, but that weight accompanied by other symptoms can be unhealthy, and if someone comes up to you and comments on those traits and tells you that you should check on it, you shouldn’t act like a demon being doused by a water hose. But I do want to make this clear: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING UNDERWEIGHT, OR OVERWEIGHT.  I’m just saying that people shouldn’t react so violently to someone’s concern about eating disorders or hormone diseases. I think it would be better to educate people instead of biting their heads off. That’s just my opinion. 

Raven Symone “I am an American”

I think that I understand Raven Symone. I don’t think she was saying that she doesn’t like being identified as a woman of color. I think she was saying that she doesn’t like being called an African American. I mean, me as a white person,  I’m not called a “Swedish, German, Irish, Native American” because I’ve never lived in those places, I’ve never been to those places and I don’t hold any emotional attachments to those places. Neither does Symone. I don’t understand why people are so upset. I don’t think she looses pride in the steps that her forefathers and mothers made to create a more equal America (still not perfectly equal), but I don’t blame her for wanting to loose the label of African, because she doesn’t remember it, it isn’t a homeland for her, and she probably holds no emotional attachment to it. She is emotionally attached and calls America home. I don’t think that she didn’t want to be known as a woman of color, just that she wanted to be called (plain and simple) an American. I would love to be enlightened though on what all of you think. I may not fully understand, because lets be honest, I’m whiter than a cream puff and I’m not immersed in the issue. But I would really like to understand. So, what are your opinions?

Raven Symone WOC equality thoughts American African American Jamaican American

formybestfriendandme asked:

You are very Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! What made you want to start doing this?

Ultimately Untitled Answer:

Thank you. I shared because I love Halloween, and Halloween is very powerful because the world we live in is a place where women, especially plus sized women are damned for what they wear, regardless of comfort or discomfort, covering or being uncovered. Halloween is that one day of the year that I can not care and wear what i want and if someone has a problem with it I can be totally obnoxious and tear them a new one, ‘cause its Halloween, I don’t have to by my shy self. I can do that any other day of the week too, but Halloween is that one holiday that gives me the strength to do so. I hoped my post might help other ladies to do the same. 

zombiedoll25 asked:

You are gorgeous,you have amazing ideas and are able to articulate them beautifully. I feel blessed that I found your blog and am able to read your thoughts. You are an amazing person and I wanted you to know that though we have not met and that I may have no impact on your life that you have an impact on mine. Just by expressing your inner thoughts you are giving a voice to many people who are scared to use their own and you are enlightening those who may be oblivious to the situation otherwise

Ultimately Untitled Answer:

You made me tear up. Its hard to reply to what you have said to me. I’m rather speechless, but knowing that I have helped or inspired at least one person makes any and all work, hard or otherwise worth it. I always thought that what I have said and tried to express fell on ears unwilling to listen and eyes blind to see. My heart is swelling knowing that I have made even the slightest impact. <3 Thank you so much. 

Anonymous asked:

I just stumbled upon your tumblr and was awestruck by how pretty you are. Just thought I'd let you know. :)

Ultimately Untitled Answer:

Thank you Anon! : ) 

Skinny shaming

So, I often as a fuller figured girl, look at very thin, frail, women and want to encourage them to eat a sandwich, with whole wheat bread, and meat, and cheese, and anything else they might like on it. When I look at these small creatures, I can only imagine them picking crumbs off of a plate. It actually scares me that they would eat so little as to get so emaciated. I was walking to class one day and a very tall girl looked like she might fall over. She was wearing a white t-shirt and when she bent over, her spine jutted from her back and I could see her ribs as if she wasn’t wearing clothes at all. I felt like holding her, I felt like crying when I saw the condition she was in. I don’t ever think like this if a girl is walking tall and proud and energetically. I only feel this way when I look at girls who look like they are loosing hair, their eyes are dull, their skin is so pale and translucent a scrape might make them bleed out. I started to think about it, I see so often, fit and thin people commenting on posts and text about the plus size community that being very overweight is very unhealthy. I know that there are signs of being very unhealthy and very overweight, I think we might all be able to accept that. But they are yelled at and told to shove it where the sun don’t shine. But is it the same situation for those looking at struggling thin women? Would it be okay for me to tell the sickly thin girl that she needed to eat something to feel better? If I didn’t say anything, she might die from the eating disorder she was struggling with. I know it is not my place to tell anyone to do anything, but is it so wrong to try and help someone when they look like they are sick? Or is this skinny shaming?

skinny shaming fat shaming body positive learning experience anorexia bullemia overeating health and fitness health health and wellness

lemonyrage asked:

Wow that doctor sounds like an ass. I always felt like the doctors I saw had some kind of contempt held against me because I was overweight and they thought I just wanted an excuse for being fat. It's so dehumanizing. And then they always put you on a "conservative" dose so they don't "over-correct". Like, spare me dude, I would love to be over-corrected! I feel like my family also has been kind of rude and expected me to drop all my weight after starting meds. Totally didn't happen lol.

Ultimately Untitled Answer:

I don’t think that people get that even after being treated it is extremely hard to loose weight. AND it doesn’t just stop at weight gain, with hypothyroidism you also get vitamin deficiencies (that my doctor didn’t tell me about until after I was potassium and calcium deficient). And all of that under-correcting to keep from over correcting makes it worse on your body. When I was first diagnosed at 12 my doctor had the option to outright kill my thyroid and he chose to let it die on its own. I had to go to high school, unable to play p.e. or do any sports, and then when I went from hyperthyroid to hypo I gained at least thirty pounds in three months. Hows that to boost a 13 year old freshman girl’s self esteem in high school? I think the main issue is that the disease is looked at as only affecting a physical body and not as affecting a person’s social life or their self esteem. My family really didn’t get it either, my aunt started having people spy on me at school to make sure I didn’t eat more than I was allowed when I didn’t loose weight on the pills. (Pretty ridiculous). 

I love cheesecake but that’s not why I am fat.

My  name is Shy and I am sick. I am not sick in a way that you can see it. OR rather, I really am. Today I went into a doctor and told him that I was ill. I explained my nine year illness and he looked at me like I was stupid. Being young and fresh into the world of adult hood, it was hard to keep my illness in check. It was expensive to drive to the specialist, and my insurance wouldn’t cover my $300 visits. Today I was treated like an idiot. I was treated like a lazy, lying, idiot. My doctor scolded me for not going to the doctor sooner, then scolded me for seeing him without the proper insurance. Then he said that I was lying about my eating habits. Because I have had this illness I have discovered the truth about being sick. No one really listens. I held myself together until I got out to the car. I cried, and sobbed. I blamed my body, and for the first time I wished that I had never had this disease. I usually look at bad things as obstacles that God has placed in front of me to overcome. Today, I wanted nothing more than to come home, find a carving knife and carve out the diseased, broken, disgusting thyroid gland out of my body that has made me struggle so much. Sadly, being sick doesn’t stop at being sick. This disease has metaphorically poisoned me,it spreads like mold through my insides and rots out my happiness. People don’t seem to understand, and there are days that I wish I could leave the house in a giant t-shirt that spells it out. My disease has caused depression, something that I didn’t want to believe in. When everything is fine, I am sitting in a corner crying, wishing that everything would go dark. I wish that I could have a week in an unbroken body, it would be like a beautiful vacation. But I know that that is not reality. I have gained weight, on top of more weight, on top of more weight. I have been prodded by people. People have hurt me, made backhanded compliments. When I try to make correlations of healthy living with anyone, they look at me like I am an ignorant idiot. Not understanding the exhaustion I go through. They don’t understand that it takes all of me to do simple tasks, and lately, its taken a lot to even talk. I sat in the doctor’s office today dreading that I would have to explain everything I was going through to a doctor that ultimately didn’t want to listen. At home it takes a lot to talk to the people I love. I dread interaction because interacting is so difficult to do. It is difficult to think. When I am not happy, I do things alone, I don’t talk, I go into a type of hiding. After the doctor’s appointment today I didn’t even want to talk to my fiance about the pain I was feeling. He asked me if I wanted to vent and I shook my head no. He told me it would be okay. I would feel better soon. I told him that that didn’t work. With this disease there was no “Ill feel better later” because later I will still have to have the blood tests, I will still have to drive an hour to see a doctor. I will still have to be on hold, waiting for someone to tell me what pills I have to take and what amount. I will have to wait through weeks of pain before I can see a doctor, then I will have to go through more time to have them diagnose my problems. But what is worse, is that sometimes the pills won’t help. Sometimes I will feel terrible and nothing can be done because the levels in my blood doesn’t match up to my pain. It won’t get better soon. This post isn’t to make people feel bad for me. But a challenge to people to keep their mouths shut and their eyes to themselves if they have nothing nice to say, or if they can’t handle lazy not being the only thing that causes fat. Many people look at me as a lazy, selfish, self pitying fat girl. That is the way that the doctor treated me today, that is the way that many people treat me, people I know and people off the street. I made a correlation today between me and a Dexter’s lab episode. You 90’s kids might remember the episode where he dyes his hair blonde for a day and everyone treats him better. Everyone steps aside and acts courteously, people give him a free pass, because he must be a fun loving blonde who has a sunny view on everything, because he is blonde. (If you don’t know the episode it is on Netflix). I feel that being skinny is very similar to being blonde in this episode. I remember when I was thinner and my hair was fuller and I had more energy because my disease was under better control, I was a teenager and my Aunt drove me to my appointments for my specialist and I was on her insurance and I didn’t have to eat crappy food that I could afford. I was treated very differently, people complimented me, I would talk to people about working out and they wouldn’t look at me like I was crazy. People generally looked at me more like a human being, people were nice. Now I feel like a monster that crawled out from under someone’s bed on some days. The only place I feel wanted and welcome is a plus size store in the mall. I went through JC pennies looking for a size 16 pair of jeans and felt miserable because none in my size were stylish, or barely my age, same thing even in the plus size department in forever 21. I finally found my happy in a pair of 55 freaking dollar jeans in Torrid, (Happy? yes. Broke? even more so.) But walking through the mall I got stares unless i was walking around with John. I got the “You know that won’t fit you right?” or the “That won’t look good on a fatgirl” look from a few chicks wandering isles. I smiled at them and ignored their stupidity. But sometimes I just want to slap the ignorance out of them. And sometimes, I want to wear a t-shirt telling them that the past 40 pounds I have gained, has been because of a stupid thyroid disease that I didn’t bring upon myself. It would be different if say, all I do is sit at home and eat Twinkies all day. I won’t lie, I don’t starve myself, I eat when I am hungry. And I have to admit I could be doing more physical activity, I don’t do much since I have been getting headaches, and since exhaustion has set in. But I was going to the gym, and during the time that I was going to the gym, I gained weight, even though I was also eating less. Anyways… I have to put it out there that looks are the representation of things, but you cant put cause with effect if you don’t understand all of the causes. I am not lazy, I am exhausted, I am not fat because I love food so much that I can’t keep myself from eating, I am fat because of a disease, a disease that makes loosing weight damn near impossible. Don’t look at me and judge me, when you know nothing about me. For that matter, don’t judge anyone. Unless you are in their shoes or in their body,YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. And another thing, I don’t hate my fat body. I hate the way that people look at my fat body. I hate the way that people treat me like all I am is a FAT BODY. I AM A HUMAN FUCKING BEING, TRY TREATING ME LIKE ONE! Thanks and sorry for the language but sheesh…. Stupid people…. 

being fat thyroid disease self esteme body positive depression judgement life

What is body positive?

I’m a little upset right now because I have been reading a lot about how body positivity isn’t a good thing if it celebrates hourglass shaped plus size women. I’m a little confused. Because I thought that body positive is not just celebrating fat women, its celebrating all body types and loving them regardless. I tag my paintings as body positive, not because they are supposed to be all fat bodies that by social standards are supposed to be skinny. I tag them as body positive because I am trying to spread the idea that all bodies are equal and beautiful, especially those with flaws, such as the painting of the mermaid with MASTECTOMY scars. She may not be very overweight but people who have those issues with their bodies need to know that regardless of their weight, they should love themselves and feel that they are beautiful. I try to draw and paint bodies of all shapes and sizes, meaning that i will draw an hourglass shaped girl once in a while, and I will draw a thin girl who is battling not feeling beautiful for one reason or another. I draw them in the light in which i see them. Which is beautiful. ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL. THAT IS BODY POSITIVE! 

body positive body postive art fat mastectomy self esteme skinny thin chubby hourglass pissed off artist

"Mermaids" Vitiligo and Mastectomy are the subjects in this watercolor. [TRIGGER WARNING, mentions cancer, death, bullying, surgery.] My brother has Vitiligo on his face and neck. He struggled growing up because bullies thought he wore make-up. He was tortured by his classmates and eventually had to change schools because the bullying. I personally find vitiligo beautiful. It reminds me of watercolor; dropping water in dark paint, it disperses and creates the most beautiful patterns and shades. Like a masterpiece on the body, no matter how small, or large the patches are, it is beautiful. The second subject of this painting, I cannot even begin to understand. Mastectomies. I painted the pink mermaid because I know so many women who have died from breast cancer. Some of them were told that the best thing to do during their fight with cancer would be to get either a single or a double mastectomy. None of them did. I remember distinctly while talking to one of them, she said the reason she didn&#8217;t get the procedure done, is because she would no longer be beautiful. I just found out that she passed away a month and a half ago. I know that scars are hard to live with, I know that many feel that scars are ugly. But every scar that is on your body is a tattoo, documentation of where you have been, your battles, and your adventures, and no matter how torn, or how crooked, or how lumpy, or twisted your scars may be, they make up a beautiful story, and a beautiful masterpiece, that is your body. -Watercolors by Shy Cross

"Mermaids" Vitiligo and Mastectomy are the subjects in this watercolor. [TRIGGER WARNING, mentions cancer, death, bullying, surgery.] My brother has Vitiligo on his face and neck. He struggled growing up because bullies thought he wore make-up. He was tortured by his classmates and eventually had to change schools because the bullying. I personally find vitiligo beautiful. It reminds me of watercolor; dropping water in dark paint, it disperses and creates the most beautiful patterns and shades. Like a masterpiece on the body, no matter how small, or large the patches are, it is beautiful. The second subject of this painting, I cannot even begin to understand. Mastectomies. I painted the pink mermaid because I know so many women who have died from breast cancer. Some of them were told that the best thing to do during their fight with cancer would be to get either a single or a double mastectomy. None of them did. I remember distinctly while talking to one of them, she said the reason she didn’t get the procedure done, is because she would no longer be beautiful. I just found out that she passed away a month and a half ago. I know that scars are hard to live with, I know that many feel that scars are ugly. But every scar that is on your body is a tattoo, documentation of where you have been, your battles, and your adventures, and no matter how torn, or how crooked, or how lumpy, or twisted your scars may be, they make up a beautiful story, and a beautiful masterpiece, that is your body. -Watercolors by Shy Cross

Vitiligo Mastectomy Body Positive skin mermaids breast cancer pink mermaid pink woc